Dancing Fools 8
by Persiana13
Summary: The insane dancing series returns once again as the Naruto crew competes!  Insanity Ensues!
1. Chapter 1

**Dancing Fools 8 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Bandai. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 1: Not Done Yet 

Naruto looked at the stage,

"This is where we're supposed to be?"

Hinata huddled near him,

"Naru-chan, I don't like it here. This place is creepy."

Sakura folded her arms,

"Huh, looks like one of Kakuzu's places after an all-night bender."

Sasuke shook his head,

"Does anyone know why we are here?"

Suddenly, there was a maniacal cackle as the insane author came out in a tuxedo,

**Glad you all could make it. **

Rock Lee pointed,

"What is the meaning of this? Why have you brought us here?"

The insane author responded,

**Easy; you're all going to be on the latest season of Dancing Fools! **

Naruto blinked,

"Wait, isn't that the show that you ripped off of ABC and make us all dance and crazy things happen?

**Yes, that's exactly it. **

Naruto beamed,

"I have always wanted to be on that show! It's awesome!"

Karin rolled her eyes,

"Only you could ever want to be on a show that is more chaotic than our lives."

**What's wrong with that? I think it livens things up around here. Now, first, I need to have a sexy co-host for the show and I was thinking of-. **

Iruka raised his hand,

"I could be your co-host."

**Iruka, I want someone where people can actually ogle, not some hair-brain that looks like he got run over. This show has class, dignity, style…clearly something you don't have. **

Raido began laughing,

"He's got you there, Iruka."

Iruka began crying,

"You're mean."

**Get used to it, I will be doing that and randomly shooting people with my bean bag gun. **

To prove a point, the insane author pulled out a bean bag gun and fired it at Sakura. Sakura had her head snap back and, when she recovered, she screamed,

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

**Proving a point. **

Sakon raised his hands,

"Can I be a co-host?"

**Sakon, just because you look like a chick, doesn't mean you can play one. Seriously, you have to be the most feminine ninja I've ever met. **

Sakon scoffed,

"I am a man, good sir."

He then looked down and saw a small mouse on his foot. Instantly, he screamed like a girl and began talking girlishly,

"Get it off! Get it off!"

He ran around until he hit his head, knocking himself out. The insane author said,

**So, that's where I left my pet mouse. **

Sasuke, who was getting frustrated, said,

"Just who do you want to co-host so I can get out of here and train?"

**I was thinking of that priestess chick Shion. **

Shion looked bewildered,

"Me?"

**Is that a problem? **

Naruto blinked,

"Seriously?"

Hinata smiled,

"I like it."

Sakura folded her arms,

"Hmph. I could be better."

**Yeah, right. **

Gaara said,

"I agree with this lunatic. Sakura is not qualified to co-host this show."

Sakura glared,

"Oh, really? I could do a better job than Shion!"

Gaara said calmly,

"Sakura, Hinata could do a better job than you, and she's the shy one."

Hinata blushed hotly,

"Thank you, Gaara."

Sakura rolled her eyes,

"Whatever."

Naruto snickered,

"Unless Hinata is in bed. Then, she's definitely not shy to try new things. Not like Sakura."

Sakura glared murderously at Naruto,

"You son of a bitch! Die!"

She lunged for him, but Sasuke, Might Guy, and Rock Lee all held her back. Sakura swore up as storm while Hinata could only stare speechless. The insane author fired off a machine gun and said,

**Hey! As much fun as it is right now to tear into each other, save it for the show. Now, we've agreed that Shion is my co-host for the show, so I'm now going down the list of couples that would be competing. First up…Naruto and Hinata! **

Naruto cheered,

"Oh yeah! Give up now, bitches! I own this!"

He began dancing around in anticipation of his win, while Hinata could only blush hotly.

**That's great to hear. Next up is Sasuke and Sakura. **

Sakura glared at Naruto,

"You're going down, Naruto!"

Naruto shot back,

"Bring it!"  
><strong>As I was saying, we have more couples to go through. We have Neji and Anko. <strong>

Anko blinked,

"Wow, that was random."

**I drew these names out of a hat, lady. Cut me a little slack. Next up is Kurenai and Yamato. Then we have Sai and Ino. Then there is Suigetsu and Karin-. **

Karin shouted,

"I protest! I want to dance with Sasuke!"

Sakura shouted,

"No, he's dancing with me, so back off, bitch!"

**Sasuke is dancing with Sakura and you're dancing with Suigetsu! That is final! **

Suigetsu examined the room and asked,

"When do we eat?"

**After this is over. And, the final couple of the show is Gaara and Temari. **

Temari cheered,

"Yay! I get to dance with Gaara!"

She began dancing around him, holding his arms tightly. Gaara maintained his focus, but was straining to concentrate. He wanted to erupt, badly.

**And, don't worry, folks. If you think the couples are crazy, wait until you see the judges for this thing! **

Next Chapter:

Meet the Judges!


	2. Chapter 2

**Dancing Fools 8 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Bandai. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 2: Judge-Mental 

**Now that we've got this out of the way, it's time you all met the judges for this thing. **

A chair spun around and Naruto and the others began laughing. It was Orochimaru, and he was tied to the chair. He also had a gag in his mouth, of which he was screaming something.

The insane author said,

**You're going to have to speak up, Snakey! I can't hear a word you're saying! **

Orochimaru managed to get the gag off by slinking and slithering slightly and he yelled,

"YOU ABOMINABTION TO HUMANITY! I WILL FEED ON YOUR SOUL WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS! YOU CAN'T KEEP THE GREAT OROCHIMARU-!"

Suddenly, he was hit over the head with a mallet and was knocked out. The insane author smirked,

**Well, that was certainly eventful. **

Sasuke blinked,

"How did you manage to convince him to agree to this?"

Rin pointed,

"I think it has something to do with all those bumps on Orochimaru's head."

**Yeah, fang face over here was real easy to convince. Of course, the next judge was slightly more challenging. **

The seat turned and Deidara was tied to the chair, glaring menacingly at the insane author. Tobi came on the set,

"What have you done with Deidara sensei?"

**Chill out, Tobi. Here, have a cookie. **

The insane author gave Tobi a cookie. Tobi took it and ate it. He rubbed his stomach,

"Tobi full. Tobi go now and sleep."

He skipped off the set, Deidara screaming for help through the gag. The insane author smirked,

**So, care to take a guess on how I got Deidara here? **

Naruto raised his hand,

"Blackmail?"  
><strong>Exactly! I have some very scandalous photos of Deidara and, for her own good as well as the good of every impressionable boy and girl here, I am keeping them for myself if she cooperates. After all, the things she's done to and with her clan are just…well, I won't get into that. <strong>

Sasuke shook his head,

"You are totally insane, you know that?"

Sakura snapped,

"And you're finding this out now? I've heard this guy has a reputation for doing insane things like this!"

**My reputation for insanity is about as accurate as your reputation as a slut, Sakura. **

Naruto cheered,

"ZING!"  
>This earns him a punch in the face by Sakura. Hinata said softly,<p>

"That wasn't very nice, Sakura."

Sakura snapped,

"Bite me, Hinata."

Hinata said, slightly louder,

"You should apologize, Sakura. I don't want to have to hurt you."

Sakura began laughing,

"You? Hurt me? Oh, please."

She continued laughing until Hinata delivered a powerful roundhouse kick, flattening Sakura onto the floor. Sakura is knocked out. There is a moment of silence as everyone tries to process this sudden turn of events. The insane author looked into the camera and said,

**This is exactly why you don't mess with Hinata. You will get your ass handed to you. **

Naruto looked at Hinata and Hinata only smiled and blushed.

**Well, let's get to our third judge before we waste anymore time. **

The chair spun around and Killer Bee was seated, surprisingly not tied up like the others. Killer Bee began rapping,

"We're all here, on Dancing Fools, judges sitting here on these stools and-."

**Bee, stop rapping now. It's annoying. **

Killer Bee protested,

"But, it's my thing, like birds in the forest gotta sing and-."

He heard the sound of a shotgun clicking and the rapping ninja said,

"Of course, I could change that."

**Better. Well, our seven couples will be training for one week in various dance styles. What can we expect in a week? Hopefully, more insanity! Good night, everyone! **

Next Chapter:  
>The week passes, and the dancing commences! Insanity Ensues!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Dancing Fools 8 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Bandai. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 3: The Dancing Begins! 

A week passes and the audience is being filled in. Rin said,

"Are you sure this is a good idea for us to be here?"

Hanabi rolled her eyes,

"This is going to end up badly, I just know it."

Zetsu was happily munching on some cookies, while Deidara was screaming from the judges' booth,

"ZETSU, GET ME OUT OF HERE!"  
>Zetsu continued to munch on cookies. Tayuya asked,<p>

"Are those chocolate chip?"

Zetsu nodded,

"Yes, they are quite good."

Tayuya went to get one, but Zetsu swallowed the whole bag before she could get one. She screamed,

"DIE!"  
>Sakon asked,<p>

"Do I look that much like a woman?"

He had been looking in the mirror. Shizune nodded,

"Yeah, you do look like a girl. Minus the boobies."

Sakon cried,

"I am a man! Why can't people see that?"

Rin said,

"Maybe if you changed your hair style to look more masculine, then, it wouldn't be a problem."

Sakon held his hair,

"But, I like my hair! It's so soft and fluffy."

The theme song began playing and the insane author, dressed in the very same fashionable tuxedo he was wearing earlier, stepped out on stage with his co-hose Shion, who was dressed in a very revealing outfit. The insane author said,

**Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to another season of Dancing Fools. Tonight, we have seven couples from the Naruto universe who will dance for the viewers of the show. Also, they probably will make themselves more idiotic than they already are. **

Shion grinned,

"And now, let's meet our judges, who are so glad to be here! First up…Orochimaru!"  
>Orochimaru screamed,<p>

"I don't want to bloody be here! I want to be anywhere else but here! Siberia is more hospitable than this place!"

Shion continued,

"Our next judge tonight is…Deidara!"

Deidara screamed,

"Let me out! I'll boil your blood in your body if you don't let me out! Don't think I won't do it! I will!"  
>Shion smiled,<p>

"And finally, tonight…Killer Bee!"

Killer Bee had rap music playing and was about to open his mouth when a shotgun was inserted into it. The insane author said,

**Go ahead. Try it. I already have your replacement lined up if you utter one rap syllable. **

Killer Bee nodded, indicating he understood. He shut the rap music off and waved to the crowd.

**That's better. Well, tonight, we're going to start things off with a loser couple, just to check to see if your pulses are still working. **

Suddenly, Sasori came onto the set, shouting,

"Let Deidara go!"

**Excuse me for one moment folks. **

The insane author left and returned a moment later, wielding a chain saw,

**DIE!  
><strong>Sasori ran for his life, screaming like a little girl as the insane author gave chase. Shion continued,

"Well, our first couple of the night is going to be Sai and Ino."

Ino walked out in a sexy dress,

"What the hell? Sai and I aren't losers!"

Sai, in a classy suit, grinned,

"I don't know. That dress reveals a lot of you. Not that that's a bad thing."

Ino glared murderously at Sai,

"Let's get this dance over with so I can kill you later."

Shion said,

"Tonight, Sai and Ino will be dancing the tango."

Sai and Ino got into position and began the dance. The charm and flow was exhilarating to watch as the two turned up the suggestive theme of the dance. It seemed to be going quite well until Ino's high heeled shoe broke and she stumbled to the ground, Sai clumsily going on top of her. Ino groaned,

"What the hell? Stupid cheap shoes!"

She then noticed Sai and screamed,

"GET OFF OF ME, PERVERT!"  
>She picked up a frying pan and began beating Sai senseless. The judges and the audience began laughing. Orochimaru held his sides,<p>

"That was funny. I give a seven!"

Deidara cackled,

"Too funny! An eight from me!"

Killer Bee said,

"That dance was so fine, I'm giving a nine!"

He looked around,

"I'm safe."

A gun clicked behind him,

**Wanna bet? **

Killer Bee held his head,

"I'm sorry, man! I can't help it! Rap's my thing!"

**Shut up. Well, we've got 24 points to start the show off. Who's up next? Well, you're going to have to stay tuned for that one! **

Sasori, who was rolling around inside a clear ball, shouted,

"Let me out of here! I am not a hamster!"

Next Chapter:

More Dancing Insanity! Stay tuned, fellow readers!


	4. Chapter 4

**Dancing Fools 8 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Bandai. Dancing with the Stars is owned by ABC. _

Chapter 4: Sand in your Shoes 

The insane author returned to the set,

**Well, he won't be bothering us again for a while. **

Deidara said,

"What did you do to him?"

The insane author laughed,

**Nothing serious. I hope. Anyway, let's get on with the show. **

Shion said,

"That's right. Now, tonight, we have another couple, all the way from the Sands performing. Temari and Gaara!"

**Wait, wait! We're having the Sand People join us? Does this look like the set of Star Wars to you? **

Gaara, in hip-hop clothes, entered, shaking his head,

"Those are Tusken Raiders. They won't show up here. That's another universe."

Temari, also in hip-hop clothes, entered and cheered,

"This is going to be so great! We're going to dance together."

Gaara groaned,

"Someone, kill me now."

**Wait, wait. You're telling me that the Sand People from Star Wars aren't from the same village you're from? Well, I wish I had known that earlier since I kicked one of them out. **

Rin asked,

"Don't those Sand People come back, and in greater numbers?"

**I'm convinced they are. In fact, I'll bet a hundred bucks right now! **

Rock Lee challenged,

"I shall accept that bet!"

Shion said,

"Well, we should get this dance started. Tonight, Gaara and Temari will be doing hip-hop break-dancing."

Gaara and Temari got into position and began the dance. The two spun around on the floor, performing some dazzling acrobatic break-dancing. The crowd is cheering and Killer Bee is even attempting to get down to the music. All is going well for the couple.

Suddenly, there was a low rumble. It was getting louder and louder and closer to the set. The door burst open and about several dozen Sand People from Star Wars came in and carried off Gaara, thinking he was a god. Temari screamed,

"Give me back my Gaara-chan!"

She ran after them.

**Well, I think someone owes me a hundred bucks. **

Rock Lee shelled out the money, frustrated,

"This is a travesty! Now, I can't eat for the rest of the day!"

**Them's the breaks for you, kid. Let's go to our judges and see what they have to say. **

Orochimaru shook his head,

"Huh, those guys must be distant cousins or something. Anyway, the dancing was great, and I don't like hip-hop. A seven for me."

Deidara said,

"A seven for me as well."

Killer Bee laughed,

"Loved it, dawg! It was fly! Ten!"

**At least he didn't rap it this time. Well, when we return, another couple will take the stage. Who is it? I have no idea. I make these things up as I go along. **

Rin pleaded,

"For the love of the Kami, please! Help me!"

She ended up getting shot with a bean bag.

Next Chapter:

More Dancing Insanity! Stay tuned, fellow readers!


	5. Chapter 5

**Dancing Fools 8 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Bandai. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 5: Hebi, Hebi 

The insane author is talking on his cell phone,

**You guys again? You know what; I have had it with you! You can't take a joke! What's that? You're getting an injunction? Again? Dude, you know I won't follow it, so don't waste the paper! Oh, yeah! Up yours to you too! **

The insane author put away his phone and looked at the camera,

**Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen. I hate lawyers. **

Shion shrugged,

"Oh, well. We should be getting onto the next couple anyway."

Deidara looked over to Zetsu and Tobi,

"Get me out of here right now!"

Zetsu was happily munching on chocolate chip cookies, while Tobi was seemingly staring off into space. Deidara roared,

"TOBI, GET ME OUT OF THIS CHAIR, YOU JACKASS!"

Tobi looked over and said,

"Say please."

Deidara glared,

"Please? What the hell, Tobi?"

Zetsu swallowed what was in his mouth and said,

"Konan and Pein told us it was important to use manners and so should you. Say please, and we will help you."

Deidara shouted,

"JUST WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU IDIOTS TALKING ABOUT? GET ME OUT OF THIS STUPID CHAIR, OR I PROMISE TO DO THINGS TO YOU THAT EVEN OROCHIMARU WOULD NOT EVEN THINK OF DOING!"

Orochimaru looked at Deidara,

"Oh, no. Don't bring me into this. Involve Killer Bee. No one likes him."

Killer Bee looked insulted,

"Why you got to be so hatin', player? I mean, I'm Killer Bee!"

A shotgun clicks behind him,

**Your name will change to Killed Bee if you don't shut up and let the show continue. **

Rin shook her head,

"Come on. How many people are watching this show anyway?"

**More than you think. This series is extremely popular. **

Shion nodded,

"Right, so let's get on with it. Tonight, Karin and Suigetsu will be performing-."

Karin marches onto the stage, interrupting Shion,

"I am not dancing with that buffoon! I want to dance with Sasuke!"

Sakura yelled from backstage,

"Up yours, bitch! He's my man!"

Suigetsu came onstage,

"What are we doing?"

Karin glared,

"We're supposed to be dancing, but I want to dance with that sexy Sasuke, not you!"

Suigetsu was aghast,

"You mean, he's cheating on you with Sakura?"

He pulled out a sword and yelled,

"Sasuke, come here and die!"  
>He rushed backstage. The insane author blinked,<p>

**Why do I have a feeling this is going to turn out badly? **

A few moments go by before there is a series of explosions and valuable objects being broken. Sasuke then dragged Suigetsu onto the stage, unceremoniously drops him at Karin's knees, and marches back off. Sasuke was uninjured, as Suigetsu is delirious and looks to have stars revolving around his head. Karin shouted,

"Sasuke, come back! I love you!"

Orochimaru blinked,

"So, do we get to judge them or what?"

**Well, considering that Sasuke just beat up Karin's dance partner, and Suigetsu is unable to perform, we're going to have to disqualify Karin and Suigetsu from the competition. **

Karin roared,

"WHAT? YOU CAN'T DO THAT! WHAT ABOUT SASUKE? SHOULDN'T HE BE DISQUALIFIED TOO?"

**It's self-defense, Karin. Besides, we all saw Suigetsu run off with the sword, shouting like a maniac. **

Killer Bee nodded,

"We all saw it, Karin."

Karin had tears well up in her eyes as she cried and ran off stage,

"Sasuke, hold me!"  
>Shion shrugged,<p>

"Well, that went well. When we return, another dance couple takes the stage. Who is it? Stay tuned!"

Next Chapter:

More dancing Insanity!


	6. Chapter 6

**Dancing Fools 8 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Bandai. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 6: Karin's Revenge 

The insane author was on the phone,

**Yes, I'd like a pizza with anchovies, peppers and tomatoes on thin crust, please. Yes, I would like it delivered. I have to wait 35 minutes? **

The insane author slammed the phone on the receiver and grumbled,

**Jerks. And, I usually pick up the pizza, too. But, I can't leave the set. There's so much more to do. **

Rin made a disgusted face,

"Ew! You like anchovies! They're disgusting!"

**I guess it wouldn't help if I told you I also like sardines and octopus. **

Rin covered her mouth, her face turning green,

"I'm going to be sick!"

She ran off to throw up.

Orochimaru shook his head,

"You are unbelievable, you know that?"

**Any more unbelievable than when you try and possess other people's bodies? **

Orochimaru shrugged,

"I have to keep up my youthful appearance, right?"

Shion took a mallet and slammed Orochimaru over the head, knocking him out,

"Ass."

**I couldn't agree more. **

Killer Bee was about to say something but Shion took a mallet and slammed it on top of his head. Killer Bee grumbled and held his head,

"That hurt!"

Shion grinned evilly,

"Of course it did. Now, we have another couple to get to tonight; Sasuke and Sakura."

Sasuke came out in a handsome suit, and Sakura came out in a sultry dress. Of course, as they were about to dance, Karin came from backstage and tackled Sakura, shouting,

"You screwed me out of my title and my Sasuke! Now, I'm getting my revenge!"

Taking one of her high heels, Karin tried to beat Sakura with it. Sakura punched Karin in the mouth, taunting,

"Come on, how can you think you're sexy with that outfit?"

Karin said,

"Guys dig sexy librarians! Ask Sasuke! He likes it when I play one!"

Sakura shrieked,

"DIE, BITCH!"

She kicked off Karin and the two were now in a violent cat-fight, complete with chakra powered attacks. As Sakura was powering up a technique, Karin turned and, grabbing Sasuke, planted a very passionate kiss on him. This broke Sakura's concentration and she speared her rival into the judges' table, causing all three judges to get caught up in this.

Shizune blinked,

"Wow, that's getting interesting."

Rock Lee was speechless as his eyes just seemed to be wide and vacant. Might Guy looked at him and shook his head.

Shion asked,

"Shouldn't we stop this?"

**No, we shouldn't. Not until I get enough on film. **

Sasuke attempted to break up the brawling women,

"This is pointless."

Sakura and Karin each grabbed one of Sasuke's arms and began tugging him back and forth. Sakura whined,

"You can't love her, Sasuke! I love you!"

Karin roared,

"Fat chance, bitch! He loves me! We formed the Hebi together!"

**Ok, it's getting boring now. **

The insane author pressed a button on the wall and a trap door opened, swallowing all three of them.

**Well, folks. It looks like Sasuke and Sakura won't be performing tonight. When we return, hopefully we'll have a sane couple dance off, continuing this train wreck for a show. Stay tuned! **

Next Chapter:

More Dancing Insanity!


	7. Chapter 7

**Dancing Fools 8 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Bandai. _

Chapter 7: Clone Chaos! 

The insane author is looking at a dazed Deidara as she attempts to recover from getting her head whacked in by a mallet. The insane author says,

**Hey, Tobi. How much are you and Zetsu getting paid? **

Zetsu was munching on another bag of chocolate chip cookies,

"Why?"

**I'll offer you all the chocolate chip cookies you want if you do me one little favor. But, first, we have to get back to the show. **

Killer Bee groaned,

"Come on, can't I rap one verse?"

The sound of a shotgun clicking in his face made Killer Bee change his mind,

"On second thought, I'm good."

Orochimaru held his head,

"This is the cruelest thing I've ever seen, and I'm evil!"

Deidara recovered and said,

"You're right. This author is insanely evil!"

**I'm not insanely evil. Just insane. And slightly deranged. **

Rin raised an eyebrow,

"Only slightly?"

**I'm not as bad as you think. I mean, Naruto wants to be here! How awesome is that? **

Orochimaru rolled his eyes,

"Naruto doesn't have any sense. You know what he did to me last week? He stuck bubble gum in a scroll I was deciphering! It turned all the paper pink!"

**But, wasn't that a scroll that you were going to use to possess Sasuke's body? **

Orochimaru folded his arms,

"Yes…but that's not the point! The point is Naruto is just as crazy as you!"

Deidara nodded,

"He drove Tobi and Zetsu crazy by having them fight over who was better at coloring!"

Tobi cheered,

"Yay! Coloring! I'm the best! "

Zetsu swallowed what he had in his mouth,

"No, I am!"

"I am!"

"No, I am!"

"I am!"

"No, I am!"

"I am!"

"No, I am!"

"I am!"

"No, I am!"

"I am!"

"No, I am!"

"I am!"

"No, I am!"

"I am!"

"No, I am!"

"I am!"

**Shaddup you two! Now, let's get to the next dance before I decide to perforate you two with this shotgun! **

Naruto and Hinata both walk out on stage. Both are wearing samba clothes, but Hinata's orange dress is more revealing. This caused a cat call with some of the other members, including Kakuzu,

"Woof! Check out Hinata!"

Naruto glared,

"You're ass is toast, pervert!"  
>He wanted to go for Kakuzu, but Hinata said,<p>

"No, Naruto. Not now."

Naruto snarled and looked back to Hinata. Then two then began to dance to Samba music.

As the two performed, Naruto was demonstrating remarkable talent and grace. Hinata was still slightly blushing, but attempted to revel in the attention as best she could and do the dance properly. Things were going well until…

Sakura came in, with Naruto on her arm,

"Hey, Hinata! Look what I got!"

Naruto and Hinata both stopped and looked at Sakura and Naruto. Hinata said,

"What's going on?"

Naruto slapped his forehead,

"I must have activated a clone jutsu when we were dancing."

He then noticed the glare he was getting from Hinata and got on his knees,

"No, seriously! Hinata, I love you, you're the only woman for me! Honest!"

Sakura folded her arms,

"Yeah, right."

Hinata studied both Naruto's for a second and then kicked the Naruto she was dancing with in the face. She then came over to the Naruto next to Sakura and kicked him in the face.

The Naruto near Sakura vanished, while the one near Hinata was still there. She smiled,

"Better."

She then turned to Sakura and headbutted her,

"Don't you ever take my man!"

Sakura shrieked like a she-devil,

"DIE!"

A cat-fight broke out between the two of them.

Naruto only could watch in a sort of gleeful bliss as the two women went at it. Orochimaru began laughing,

"This was fun! Nine!"

Deidara rolled her eyes,

"Pervert. I'll admit, the dancing was good, though. Seven."

Killer Bee said,

"Ten!"

Shion grinned,

"26 points for Naruto and Hinata! Well, folks. Stay tuned, we've got more dancing insanity to come!"

Next chapter:

More Dancing Insanity!


	8. Chapter 8

**Dancing Fools 8 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Bandai. _

Chapter 8: Of Dancing and Secrets 

Rin groaned in her hands,

'This still isn't over yet?"  
>Orochimaru wailed,<p>

"PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP!"  
>He began sobbing, covering his face with his hands. He then looked up at the insane author,<p>

"This isn't working for you, is it?"

**Not in the least, snakey. Besides, from what I understand, you're so evil, you don't even have any redeeming qualities at all. **

Orochimaru blinked,

"You know, you're right. I am a complete and utter bastard."

Deidara rolled her eyes,

"Finally, he admits it. Now, if he is going to admit what happened at that Christmas party last year was real, then we'd be all set."

Deidara then looked up at everyone and shouted,

"Don't judge me! Having the flexibility of a snake is good for something!"  
><strong>O-K. I'm going to go over here now. <strong>

Shion nodded,

"I think I'll join you."

The two hurried over to the opposite side of the stage. Orochimaru shouted,

"Deidara, you were plastered when that happened!"

Deidara shot back,

"You were too, as I recall. I also recall you suggesting we do it with you playing as Sasuke and me playing Sakura!"

Killer Bee began rapping,

"Deidara-."

Deidara pulled out a kunai and held it to Killer Bee's throat,

"Breathe one syllable of a rap song about me and Orochimaru, and I will kill you here and now, in front of all these witnesses."

Killer Bee nodded,

"O-k."

He was let go and then asked,

"Is my rap really that bad?"

There was a resounding response,

"YES!"  
>Killer Bee grumbled,<p>

"You guys are no fun."

**Well, that's five minutes of my life I'll never get back. Well, let's-. **

Deidara turned back to Orochimaru,

"Were you thinking about Sakura when you were with me?"

Orochimaru shook his head,

"No! I hate you both equally!"

Deidara grumbled,

"Loser. I knew I should have just done Zetsu when I had the chance."

Zetsu came by and bumped into Deidara. Deidara screamed,

"AAAAHHH! WHAT THE HELL, ZETSU? YOU PUT AN ICE CUBE DOWN MY SHIRT!"  
>Zetsu and Tobi, as well as everyone else began laughing hysterically.<p>

Anko and Neji came on the stage. Anko, dressed in a snake skin dress, asked,

"What's going on?"

Deidara was trying to get the ice cube out of her clothes, and she eventually succeeded. Anko asked,

"What's this about you dressing up for my Orochimaru?"  
>Orochimaru blinked,<p>

"Oh, crap."

Deidara growled,

"It was a one night thing."

Anko screamed,

"You're supposed to be with me, supporting my child!"

Rin blinked,

"Wait, you have a child with Anko?"

Killer Bee groaned,

"Man, the kid must be a freak."

This earned him a kick in the face. Orochimaru glared,

"Anko, don't bring this up!"

Anko shook her head,

"No, it's the perfect time to bring this up! You know why, we're on national television!"

She looked at the camera,

"To all the women out there; Orochimaru is a loser! He got me pregnant, then chased after a man!"

Orochimaru stood up,

"Now, hold it a minute! I only am after Sasuke because I want his body to possess!"

Anko laughed bitterly,

"I thought you wanted to bang Sakura while you were in there!"

Orochimaru shrugged,

"Well, there is that…"

Anko screamed,

"YOU TWO TIMING CHEAT! DIE!"  
>She tackled Orochimaru and tried to throttle him. Deidara decided to join in,<p>

"Save some for me, Anko!"

Neji blinked,

"Uh, what about the dance? Anko?"

Orochimaru screamed,

"AAHH! PAIN! HELP ME! I AM IN PAIN!"  
><strong>Well, looks like Anko and Neji have to drop out of the competition. Well, when we return, there's more dancing insanity to come! Stay tuned! <strong>

Next Chapter:

The Dancing Continues!


	9. Chapter 9

**Dancing Fools 8 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Bandai. ABC owns Dancing with the Stars. _

Chapter 9: Just What We Need! 

Shion sighed,

"Are we almost done yet?"  
>Orochimaru screamed,<p>

"Please say we are so I can leave this forsaken place and never return!"

**Relax, snakey. This is the last couple. **

Shizune sighed happily,

"Thank the Kami that it is. I do not know how much more I can take of this insanity."

Haku sighed,

"It could be worse."

**You're right, it could be. Kurenai and Yamato are up now. **

There was a slight pause as everyone waited for the remaining couple to show up.

**I said Kurenai and Yamato are up now. **

Killer Bee asked,

"Where are they?"

Rin shrugged,

"Maybe they escaped."

Deidara screamed,

"AND LEAVE US HERE! I WILL MURDER THEM FOR THIS!"

**Shion, go check on them. **

Shion folded her arms,

"And, why is that?"

**Because, if you don't, I'll release those pictures of you and Naruto. I'm sort of surprised at you, Shion. I'd never expect you to be so kinky. **

Shion was horrified,

"You wouldn't dare?"  
><strong>Wouldn't I? I arranged all of this, and you don't think I would? <strong>

Shion sighed, defeated,

"I will go check on them."

She left the stage.

Deidara shook her head,

"You are truly evil, you know that? More evil than me! More evil than Hidan! More evil than all the other evil ninjas put together!"

**Me, evil? No, I'm not. I'm doing this for the fans. If you have complaints, talk with them. **

Killer Bee swallowed,

"You mean, those psychos outside with the torches and pitchforks?"

**Huh, there are more of them here than last time. Oh, look, the Tobi and Zetsu just found the angry mob. **

Zetsu yelled from outside,

"HELP! HELP! ALL I WANT ARE COOKIES!"  
>Tobi was right behind him,<p>

"NO! DON'T HURT ME! HURT DEIDARA!"  
>Deidara roared,<p>

"YOUR ASS IS TOAST WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, TOBI!"

Sounds of the angry mob beating up Zetsu and Tobi could be heard next. Orochimaru shook his head,

"If this is what it's like being this evil, then I don't want to do it anymore."

Shion then came back to the stage, blushing bright red.

**Where have you been, Shion? **

Shion whispered something to the insane author.

**Wait, what? You're serious? Kurenai can do that with her legs? They're still going at it? You didn't bring a camera? **

Shion scowled,

"Do I look like I'm a pervert to you?"

**Never mind that. Excuse me while I go find a camera and watch Yamato and Kurenai reinvent the Kama Sutra. **

With that, the insane author left the stage. Shion shrugged,

"Well, it's safe to say there won't be any more dancing for those two. And, from the way things are looking, Kurenai and Yamato should only get a perfect score for the radical displays of flexibility both of them are demonstrating while making love. Well, tune in next time, folks!"

Next Chapter:

The exciting conclusion. Stay tuned!


	10. Chapter 10

**Dancing Fools 8 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Bandai. ABC owns Dancing with the Stars _

Chapter 10: Finale! 

**You guys are never going to believe this. Those two didn't even know I filmed them. **

Orochimaru shook his head,

"You're disgusting and perverse, you know that?"

**So, anyone wanna watch it? **

Shion shrugged,

"I gave them a thirty."

Killer Bee shook his head,

"What the hell are we judging for if you just override our scores?"

**That's the point. The host and co-host of this thing are supposed to be critical and make sure that everyone is having a good time. Besides, what do you idiots know about art? **

Killer Bee said,

"I know how to rap!"

He was about to start a verse when Deidara slammed him in the neck with a chop, breaking his neck, killing him. Orochimaru said,

"Thank you."

Deidara smiled,

"You're welcome. Now, let's watch the sex tape."

As everyone was sitting down watching the tape, Kurenai and Yamato came out on the stage,

"We're ready to-."

Then, they saw the sex tape and Kurenai, pulling out a katana, shrieked,

"Who taped us?"

The insane author quickly disposed of the camera in Orochimaru's pocket and said,

**This perv did! **

Orochimaru shouted,

"You liar!"

Standing up, the camera had fallen onto the floor. Kurenai shrieked,

"DIE!"

She and Yamato dove for Orochimaru and began beating him to a pulp. Deidara began laughing,

"Nice one, Orochimaru."

Shion smiled,

"Let those three work things out. Meanwhile, let's get ice cream!"

The rest of the Naruto cast cheered and exited the building, leaving Orochimaru to get pummeled by Kurenai and Yamato.

End of Dancing Fools 8!


End file.
